UPDATE: Read my follow-up post to this where I explain Matt is alright.

I was checking my voice mail Monday and clearing out anything I’d missed
when I heard a strange message from some random guy I’d never met. I’m
hoping it’s nothing, but read this story, and if you know the people
involved, then please let me know what you know.

In the voice mail Matt sounds very distraught. He rambles on, forgets
what he was saying, misses important details, and seems to be completely
confused. I think I could hear him walking outside somewhere. He says
that he knows me from using Mongrel, and that he thinks I might be able to
help him tell people what’s going on.

Then he says that he’s been forced out of his apartment on 31st by one
Michael Brauser and that he’s received death threats. I’m not clear on
whether Matt claims the threats were from Michael Brauser or not, and in
no way am I accusing Michael Brauser of any wrongdoing. I’m simply
trying to figure out what might have happened and make sure Matt’s
alright.

Even when Matt mentions Michael he loses track of his topic, and
forgets where Michael works. He then rambles some more, and hangs up
after apologizing for rambling.

Right away this seems odd since I don’t know this guy at all, and I don’t
give out my phone number. How he got it I’m not sure, but I start doing
some digging. I get his phone number from the voice mail envelope and
then find out that he called me on Saturday. He must have called when I
was in the subway and dumb fuck Verizon didn’t deliver the message until
Monday.

I call him and ask him to call me back, and then I hunt down his email
address and email him too. While I’m waiting I collect up this
information to confirm his story:

• Here’s a good picture of who I think
  is the Matthew Kaufman in question. I can’t confirm it, but all the info
  matches.
• Here’s his twitter with the same picture
  so that confirms more.
• His LinkedIn profile says that he “Served as CTO and Sr. Developer at portfolio company RootZoo, an online sports social network…” for Marlin Capital.
• Michael Brauser has a ZoomInfo
  which lists him as a partner at Marlin Capital. This makes Matthew’s
  voice mail even weirder because Matthew obviously worked with Michael, so
  why would he forget where Michael worked?
• I can’t find any phone numbers for Marlin Capital Partners, and their website is down. There’s this mention of what could be the company but that number doesn’t work.

Other google searches confirm his address and other coherent parts of
his voice mail. The only problem is, nobody I know in Ruby or otherwise
has ever heard of Matthew or Michael.

I left a few more messages with Matt and then decided that if he didn’t
call me back by tonight I’d call the police and have them go find him.
Well, he didn’t call me back so I called 911 to see if they can try to
find out what happened.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh man, yeah I almost thought the police
would actually do their jobs too. I guess Matt would have to have brown
skin and try to go on the subway with a backpack before they’d go
searching anywhere near him. In the end I called 911 and my local
precinct and they just shuffled me on to another precinct. They said that
they probably can’t do anything since Matt’s an adult. They also kept
asking me stupid irrelevant fucking questions like whether he’s from New
York. As if the NYPD only helps native New Yorkers yo!

If I get more information I’ll go down to the police precinct in person
and try again, but I’ll have better luck helping the guy with the
Internet. My gut also tells me that he’s probably alright and I just need
to confirm that.

What Happens Next

After putting together the story I think Matt is probably alright. I’m
not going to speculate as to what Michael Brauser did or didn’t do, or
even if Matt is telling the truth. He sounded like he needed help, so I’m
going to see if I can get him some.

What I can figure is he’s at least been kicked out of his apartment and
doesn’t have a job. He’s not answering his phone, voice mail, or email so
that could mean he’s embarrassed that I’m contacting him, or he’s dead in a
ditch somewhere. There’s a good chance he’s not even in the city anymore
and has just gone home to Mom and Dad.

I’d like to at least know if he’s alright. He’s a total stranger
I’ve never met before, but I can at least ask if anyone knows him.

If you know Matthew, and know he’s alright, then please email me. If you
have other information then please let me know that as well. If you know
how I can contact Michael Brauser please send me that information. I’d
like to call Michael to get his side of the story and maybe track down
Matthew through Michael.

The Lesson To Learn

Go to a party. Make some friends. Date a girl or a guy you like. Date
several, if you can.

Whatever you do, don’t get to a point in your life where you have to call
some random guy with a blog named “Zed’s So Fucking Awesome” to help you.

I am not The A-Team.